Man-In-Sea

Back in late 2000, when Al Gore was still trying to prove he’d won the pay raise and new crib fair and square, a photocopied cartoon passed through the Day Job. It featured a crying infant surrounded by a wooden plaque reading “Official Seal of the Democratic Party.” After this week’s health care summit, I’d like to see that seal passed to John “Sniffles” McCain and the twisted invalids he fights to represent. When asked flat out, no room to dodge, they could not explain why the felt it was so unreasonable for all of us to be healthy. I am a staunch believer that we are the greatest nation in the world, so it kind of pisses me off that people in France can go see the doctor whenever they want and not be docked for the days off work.

It’s an issue that weighs heavily on my mind right now, as my younger brother lays in a hospital bed recovering from his second surgery to remove a brain tumor that attacked him for no reason that anyone can explain to me. Matthew worked hard all his life, but there had no choice but to go on Medicaid when this happened, and he has been well taken care of. If you among those that want to stand in the way of that, I invite you to come sit with me in the hospital and watch him inspect his arm like he’s never seen it before or struggle to remember the number after thirteen.

In April I am publishing “Man-In-Sea,” based on the life of Edwin A. Link Jr., an inventor from Binghamton, NY., who built a carnival ride that revolutionized the world of flight and has been credited with defeating the Luftwaffe. All proceeds will go to help my brother’s recovery. If you are here with me in Binghamton, you can come to the release party April 16th at the ART Mission Theater. Bill Snyder of WSKG will lead the cast reading the story live. If you are interested in sponsoring books for this event, please contact me at TbStarlight@gmail.com. Next week, Laugh at Yourself First will have the new episode of The Witch King’s Sword. Thanks for reading.

-Paul
printisbetter.blogspot.com

Laugh at Yourself First: The Unbearable Experimentation of the Insidious Dr. Dendrobates

Read "The Unbearable Experimentation of the Insidious Dr. Dendrobates" and more short fiction, scripts, and very little poetry at Laugh at Yourself First.
pauljuser.blogspot.com

If you're here with me in Binghamton, come see VOTE NUGE this week. I'll be performing every night at 7:15 at the ART Mission Theater. The show is free with movie admission, and this week they are playing "A Single Man" and "Young Victoria." Both are fantastic.

When I was a kid, I read and re-read a series of books called "Time Machine," where you jumped around the timeline for apparently no other reason than to keep yourself from screwing up the timeline by jumping around and messing with things. I tended to be a cataclysm that brought about the end of the dinosaurs much too early. "The Vampire of Doom City" is like a choose-your-own adventure for grownups. I give you the details, but leave you to put them together. I started a contest this week to win the print edition. All you need to do is tell me the story. The last main character will be revealed March 15th. You can read it at regularcrazy.blogspot.com. I hope you're enjoying Dr. Dendrobates. Thanks for reading.

-Paul

Laugh at Yourself First: The Unbearable Experimentation of the Insidious Dr. Dendrobates

Read “The Unbearable Experimentation of the Insidious Dr. Dendrobates” and more short fiction, scripts, and very little poetry at Laugh at Yourself First.
pauljuser.blogspot.com

Nobody panic, Jack Nicholson is still alive. That was the first sigh of relief I had all week when I discovered that was a hoax. For everything else, I think about Marlow and keep my eyes on the river ahead of me. I hope your life is good, because I'm in serious need of a few seconds of silence. Each of us has or own personal horror stories. I say this for everyone. Fuck cancer. Let it be a reminder each day that life is for living.

"The Unbearable Experimentation of the Insidious Dr. Dendrobates" is different. The scenes are short, and by no means warrant 30 weeks of one-page postings. Instead, Act 1 will be presented one scene at a time from February 12th through February 23rd. Acts 2 and 3 will follow in March and April. Laugh at Yourself First goes back to normal weekly postings after that, but “The Vampire of Doom City” has been updated daily since January 1st. Some of you may even think you have the story figured out. Let me know your theories and I will post them on Print is Better. Develop your own at regularcrazy.blogspot.com.

If you’re here with me in Binghamton, Nuge is on the loose! Friday, Nuge debuted “The Theme to That Movie: RED DAWN” first at RiverRead’s open mic, then at the Blot Spot with the Genital Holograms. If you happen to be among the few that enjoy bizarre twisting soundscapes, I highly recommend. Come see me do VOTE NUGE February 22nd-26 at the ART Mission Theater before the 7:30 shows. Prizes, give-aways, and your chance to be immortalized in the Nuge video we’re recording. It's free with movie admission. We’re hoping to have the new movie with the Dude. The original TTFTM:RD, written by myself and Brett Tribe, can be found with a Google search. Thanks for reading.

-Paul
printisbetter.blogspot.com

Laugh at Yourself First: The Witch King's Sword, Episode 8

Read "The Witch King's Sword" and more short fiction, scripts, and very little poetry at Laugh at Yourself First.
pauljuser.blogspot.com

First week of Feb, folks, and in this episode of the Witch King's Sword, Erby the troll takes Chloe Isis and Valentine on a boat down the Great River to escape the Glithvals that pursue them. If Sword & Sorcery isn't your bag, next week I have a mad scientist story. "The Unbearable Experimentation of the Insidious Dr. Dendrobates" will be posted one scene each day from February 12th-23rd. Act II and III will follow in March and April.

If you're here with me in Binghamton, you were well aware of Punxsutawney Phil's prediction long before that little rodent crawled out of his fiberglass stump. Would you believe me if I told you that woodchuck is a close friend of mine? I couldn't exactly call him up to get you an inside prediction, but we've been introduced, and I've seen the damage he did to a kitchen after being left unattended with a chocolate cake no one thought he could reach. He was raised in the Town of Maine by a woman I know quite well, and when the choice came to give him away or shoot him, he became a lucky celebrity. His Christian name is 'Whistlepig.'

This kind of thing is not uncommon in the Town of Maine. My dad always swore he could have a baby woodchuck sit in his lap and purr like a cat after only a few hours of handling, but that was never one of the bizarre creatures that lived at my house. I always preferred reptiles. This past Sunday, I performed VOTE NUGE with Aaron Gold and Derek Thoby, and again on Wednesday with Freddie Nugz and the Uniters. If you saw me out last night at First Friday, that was Kevin from Swath and Dance-A-Tron playing "Dusty," Nuge's road technician, body-guard, and door-opener since the '76 Motorhead tour. That list of performers and musicians I name-dropped are all artists you should check out, and I have links to each one at the Print is Better blog. Thanks for reading.

-Paul
printisbetter.blogspot.com