The Tragedy of Dolouz

Visit Laugh at Yourself First for "The Tragedy of Dolouz" and more short fiction, scripts, and very little poetry from Paul Juser.
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I've got a contest for you this week. The Laugh at Yourself group hit 500 members, so I celebrated by digging in the trunk. "The Tragedy of Dolouz" was originally published in a punk rock zine called OJ Killed Elvis. I'm giving one of my last two copies to the reader that first identifies my city's famous oceanographer whose carnival ride has been credited with the defeat of the Luftwaffe. Forgive the cut-and-paste, this was before the days of laser scanners and photo manipulation. In the mean time, I hope you'll read the updated and revised version I have for you this week.

If you're here with me in Binghamton, you can probably answer off the top of your head. Which of us haven't marveled over the Man-In-Sea project, wondering what swims down there in the deep places of the world? Stop by Roberson Museum & Science Center to see their display of inventions from this pioneering undersea archeologist who recovered an anchor from the Santa Maria, and was once arrested in Greece as a pirate. Send your answers to TbStarlight@gmail.com. I'll announce the winner next week. Thanks for reading.

-Paul
printisbetter.blogspot.com

Laugh at Yourself First: Angel Dressed in Black

Visit Laugh at Yourself First for "Angel Dressed in Black," and more short fiction, scripts, and very little poetry from Paul Juser.
pauljuser.blogspot.com

I was once knew a girl who loved Radiohead. She told me a sad story of Thom Yorke and the song "Fake Plastic Trees." Yorke claimed he wrote the song for a girl that would never hear it. I wrote a story about that girl called "A Nativity in Black." She might read this. This week's story, "Angel Dressed in Black," is about a girl that will probably never read it. It follows Zoe West, whose wedding Rubin attends in "Dollars Per Hour." While standing alone, this story is part of a larger storyline with "Regular Crazy" and "A Love Song for Mary Jane Kelly."

If you're here with me in Binghamton, you know we can never tell if the screaming man in a rainbow wig with a balloon under his shirt is an escaped lunatic, drumming up business, or a mayoral candidate. These days, you can find Mastodon touring with Dethklock, or opening Wembly Stadium for Metallica. In an interview with Noise Creep, drummer Brann Dailor tells a few tales of the band's formative years. Every anecdote came from one show at an abandoned China buffet in Endwell.

I've got an event for you to attend. The Kermidas Dance Troupe will be performing "Wonderland" August 29th and 30th at the Endicott Performing Arts Center. The show will benefit Stand Up To Cancer, which is a cause that's been heavy on my mind in the last couple years. Visit Print is Better to see their poster and view the full press release. Thanks for reading.

-Paul
printisbetter.blogspot.com

Stand Up to Cancer with the Kermidas Dance Company

Kermidas Dance Company

Wonderland
August 22 at 7:30 at Waverly Opera House
August 29 at 7:30 and August 30 at 3:00
at Endicott Performing Art Center

Take a detour from your present day with Kermidas Dance Company and jump into the adventures of Alice and the whimsical world of a carnival circus.

Wonderland will be presented on Saturday, August 22 at 7:30 pm at The Waverly Opera House @ The Loom Building, 439 Waverly St, Waverly, NY, Ticket Line 607-948-4126.

Also presented on Saturday, August 29th at 7:30 pm and Sunday, August 30th at 3:00 pm at the Endicott Performing Arts Center, 102 Washington Ave, Endicott, NY, Ticket Line 607-785-8903. Tickets are $15 a person.

A portion of the proceeds to benefit “Stand Up To Cancer”.

Kermidas Dance Company will also be having a Gala on Thursday, August 27 at 6:00 pm, sponsored by the Daughters of Columbus at the Sons of Italy Lodge, 126 Odell Ave, Endicott, NY. Reservations are available by calling 607-748-1345. The dance company will be entertaining at the Gala.

Laugh at Yourself First: The Witch King's Sword

Visit Laugh at Yourself First for The Witch King’s Sword, and more short fiction, scripts, and very little poetry from Paul Juser.
pauljuser.blogspot.com

This week I have the newest installment of my ongoing sword and sorcery novel, “The Witch King’s Sword.” In this episode, Valentine and Chloe must escape the trolls that have captured them in Wicked City. They are rescued by a finely dressed troll named Erby who may or may not have their best interests in mind. The next installment will be up on Laugh at Yourself on September 19th. Next week is a story called “Angel Dressed in Black,” following the life of Zoe West of Dollars Per Hour. If you haven’t read Dollars Per Hour yet, feel free to download it at no cost at lulu.com/tbstarlight. I’ll give you much thanks if you purchase a print copy.

If you’re here with me in Binghamton, you’re probably happy summer has finally arrived. My apartment has been crudely converted into an oven capable of baking an entire cow in seconds. Cats lay sprawled before the fans, glassy eyes begging for me to provide air circulation. Thankfully, the Day Job has me on tour. This week I watched a meteor shower over the Adirondacks. Try doing that from your cubicle. Regardless, my bed at home will always be softer than any hotel, and my hallways don’t have that rotten trapped air-conditioner smell. Thanks for reading.

-Paul
printisbetter.blogspot.com

Laugh at Yourself First: Dr. Filth Vs. the Surgeon

Visit Laugh at Yourself First for “Dr. Filth Vs. the Surgeon,” and more short fiction, scripts, and very little poetry by Paul Juser.
pauljuser.blogspot.com

I had some embarrassing moments this past week. It started when I called my neighbor’s baby daughter a “handsome little man,” and went downhill from there. A few years ago, one of my childhood friends did art for a comic named “Swamp Fox.” I drew ninja comics with this guy in middle school, so I was excited to see him succeed. I was out of town for the signing, but visited the store the next day for a copy. I was directed to the book by the owner of the shop, who I think I once played Dungeons & Dragon’s with. It wasn't signed, but I figured I'd run into Joe eventually for his John Hancock.

If you’re here with me in Binghamton, you’re probably impressed with our vast array of farmer’s market. Most accept food stamps. This past weekend, I saw Joe was signing his new comic, “The Boy Named Last,” at a farmer’s market in Vestal. I pulled "Swamp Fox" off the shelf but couldn’t find Joe’s name, and couldn’t remember which story the shop owner had pointed out when he took the book out of it’s wrapping for me. When I presented the book that morning, he said, “Oh yeah, I did art for that guy.” I saw my fate unfold before me eyes, but was powerless to prevent. Technically, this was the first time the same shopkeep sold me the wrong book, but it wasn't the first time I'd discovered it. This is a man whose elf I once saved from a dragon, but that was long ago in a Forgotten Realm far, far away. He can't be expected to remember all his many adventures. Thanks for reading.

-Paul
printisbetter.blogspot.com

Laugh at Yourself First: Drunk n' Cutz

Visit Laugh at Yourself First for "Drunk 'n' Cutz" and more short stories, scripts, and very little poetry by Paul Juser.
pauljuser.blogspot.com

Don't panic! All is well. Last week, Laugh at Yourself First was shut down overnight as a spam site. I was reviewed by a "real person" on the Blogger staff who offered no constructive criticism but restored my account before I could finish an angry e-mail. Establishing a culprit was just as easy. A disgruntled former cast member of "The Legend of the Ghost of Dracula's Cook" caused the disruption after I listed only the cast of my favorite production. His or her confidants rolled over under very little duress.

"Drunk 'n' Cutz" was an experiment in decadence in what became a weekly event of poets and other wannabes passing words and pitchers around the back table of our favorite dive bar. The ranks swelled for several months, leaving me with multiple notebooks full of indecipherable writing from unremembered sources. This collection comes from the first night, written by myself and my oldest friend, James Lisk at the time I was writing Dollars Per Hour. These poems were originally published in a chapbook that was distributed free at poetry readings that erupted in Binghamton living rooms around that time.

If you're here with me in Binghamton, let me thank you for attending the reading of "Mother of Blue Stars." By nearly filling the Art Mission Theater, we generated much interest in future events, and the Playwright Unit is now going through your comments and suggestions to help in final revisions. We hope to see the play go from the page to the stage very soon. If you missed it, you can hear me talking with Gregory Keeler from my July 28th interview on wskg.org. Further thank you's to everyone that ordered a copy of Nuge for Prez, your efforts keep me going. Thanks for reading.

-Paul
pauljuser.blogspot.com

Horror Writers

Print is Better is seeking horror writers and independant film makers in or around Upstate NY for a Halloween event featuring live readings of original stories. For more information, write TbStarlight@gmail.com