Read "The Salvation Shark," and more short fiction, scripts, and very little poetry at Laugh at Yourself First.pauljuser.blogspot.com
If you're here with me in Binghamton, 100 years ago, some of our most famous residents were the kin of Dr. Kilmer. The family business was hawking "Swamp Root," one of the most notorious snake-oils in history. It was a stinking broth of mostly alcohol and a few other undisclosed ingredients that did almost nothing but rot the liver. While the patent medicine is still available today, production was all but shut down by the Pure Food and Drug Act. Willis Sharpe Kilmer stole the family fortune from under his uncle, the original "Doctor," and used it to branch into the newspaper business and horse breeding. Willis and his father built the triangular building on Chenengo Street as well as what was for many years the tallest building in the city. Kilmer was a name known around the world for duplicity and corruption. 'Round these parts, we revere the man as a scion.
There is a new restaurant in the triangular building. It's called 'Remlik's.' Get it? That's the name for the family horse farm in Virginia that is synonymous with animal abuse. They breed only winners. I probably never would have gone to Remlik's myself. I've eaten at nearly all the "fine dining" lunch counters in town, and nearly all of my food has been "microwaved." I don't expect any different from Remlik's. Chances are, it will be closed in 6 months anyway. However, the last few weeks before the restaurant opened, the owner has been threatening to tow any car he finds parked for the ART Mission Theater across his parking lot. April 19th I will be performing in a comedy show at the ART Mission that I helped write. If you'd like to attend, but want to have dinner first, make sure to ask Remlik's if you can remain in the lot. You might have to move your car. If you are coming from out of town and you want my opinion, the Lost Dog Cafe is only two blocks from the theater. Maybe after that, you can see Binghamton's cowboy. We're classy! Thanks for reading.
-Paul
printisbetter.blogspot.com
There is a new restaurant in the triangular building. It's called 'Remlik's.' Get it? That's the name for the family horse farm in Virginia that is synonymous with animal abuse. They breed only winners. I probably never would have gone to Remlik's myself. I've eaten at nearly all the "fine dining" lunch counters in town, and nearly all of my food has been "microwaved." I don't expect any different from Remlik's. Chances are, it will be closed in 6 months anyway. However, the last few weeks before the restaurant opened, the owner has been threatening to tow any car he finds parked for the ART Mission Theater across his parking lot. April 19th I will be performing in a comedy show at the ART Mission that I helped write. If you'd like to attend, but want to have dinner first, make sure to ask Remlik's if you can remain in the lot. You might have to move your car. If you are coming from out of town and you want my opinion, the Lost Dog Cafe is only two blocks from the theater. Maybe after that, you can see Binghamton's cowboy. We're classy! Thanks for reading.
-Paul
printisbetter.blogspot.com
