Laugh at Yourself First: "The Disappearance of Cotton Mayweather"

February 26, 2009

Visit Laugh at Yourself First for “The Disappearance of Cotton Mayweather” and more short prose, script, and very little poetry by Paul Juser.
http://pauljuser.blogspot.com

Looks like we made it through February, folks. The odds were against us, so I’d say we deserve a pat on the back. I’m proud to announce I’ve finished “The Disappearance of Cotton Mayweather,” at Laugh at Yourself First. This short story is part of my Doom City series of photographs. Cotton Mayweather finds an abandoned city off a forgotten highway. I hope the title doesn’t give away too much of the ending.

Next week I’ll probably have another poem. I’ll make it up to you on March 13th, when I deliver “AIN SOPH,” a short story about a video-game monster that creates real-world chaos. The story will have a cover drawn by my longtime friend, Kip Ayers. You can see some of his paintings here. The draft of the cover I saw last night knocked the breath out of me, you’re going to love it.

As always, you’re welcome to print these stories yourself. As everyone knows, print is better to read. You’ll only be helping me should you pass them to someone else when you’re done. The Doom City photos may use a lot of ink on your home printer, you’re better off visiting your local copy center. If you’re here with me in Binghamton, I use Data Flow on Washington St. They do a great job and now have cookies. I recommend the Macadamia.

If you enjoy Laugh at Yourself First, I hope you will purchase a copy of my novel, “Dollars Per Hour,” which you can find at Lulu.com. All proceeds to go my theatre company, Theatricks by Starlight in our production of new plays. I’d rather have you reading than buying, so Dollars is available for free download, along with my first novel, “Here in this Sorrow,” and some other fun stuff. Thank you for reading.

-Paul

Laugh at Yourself First: "Stranger in a Familiar Land"

Visit Laugh at Yourself First for “Stranger in a Familiar Land” and more short prose, script, and very little poetry by Paul Juser.
http://pauljuser.blogspot.com

Last week, I told you about “The Disappearance of Cotton Mayweather,” a short story of an abandoned city is told primarily in photographs. Even yesterday I believed I could accomplish the task, but for the second time in a month I’ve let you down. I hope nobody's weekend is ruined.

I finished the photos, and I finished the text, but I have not tied them together as much as I'd like. The final decision came this morning when I looked out the window and saw the abysmal conditions matching those I describe in the story. In photography, there are not many opportunities for revision like that. I swear I will have Cotton for you next week.

In it’s place, I offer “Stranger in a Familiar Land.” I've posted more poems than I've promised, but this one is good. I read this poem live with Lament Configuration, and there may be recordings of it from a radio show. If you happen to have one, please send it my way. This version has been cleaned up since then, I hope you enjoy.

If you’re here with me in Binghamton, this weekend is your last chance to see “Bent” at the Binghamton City Stage. I’ve worked with Sean Kimber, Joe Petrolawicz, Marty Murray, and Mickey Ray a number of times, and they are fantastic actors. Visit knowtheatre.org for details.

I hope the icebox thaws soon, but in the mean time, "Dollars Per Hour" is the best way to spend these cold nights. It’s laugh-out-loud funny, to keep your blood moving until Spring. Take it from me, I wrote it. You can decide for yourself by downloading the .pdf, or purchasing a print copy at Lulu.com. Don't feel bad if you can't order now. I'm more interested in readers than purchases. I don't even mind if you print these stories yourself. Everyone agrees, print is better. You'll be helping me out more by passing it along when you're through. Thank you for reading.

-Paul
http://printisbetter.blogspot.com

Laugh at Yourself First: "Dr. Filth"

Visit "Laugh at Yourself First," a collection of short prose, script, and very little poetry by Paul Juser. 2/13/09: “Dr. Filth”

Happy Friday the 13th! I would like to start out by thanking you for all the kind words, I’m glad you’ve enjoyed my stories. This week I’ve posted “Dr. Filth,” about a super-hero with the power to convince himself anything. Those who have been with me will recognize Doc as one of my oldest characters. In “Dollars Per Hour,” he’s a protagonist, and probably the antagonist as well. Next week’s story, “The Disappearance of Cotton Mayweather,” will be told in text and photograph.

If you’re with me in Binghamton, NY, make sure you see some of my closest friends this weekend in “Bent” at the Binghamton City Stage. Find out more at knowtheatre.org. I’ve also enjoyed some very good lunches at Amera’s Cup O Soup and the Midtown Café this week. Should you find yourself here, there are now places to eat!

By you or me, reading print is better than a computer screen, so I welcome you to print any of these stories for yourself. You’d be helping me out to pass them along to anyone you think will enjoy as well. These stories are all short, but you can save yourself or your job some paper by having Lulu print and bind my novel for you. I’d rather have you reading than purchasing, so you can download “Dollars Per Hour,” and my first novel, “Here in this Sorrow” in free .pdf at lulu.com/theatricksbystarlight. All proceeds benefit future productions from Theatricks by Starlight. Not only to you receive an attractive looking volume for the shelf or bathroom periodical stand, you support live theatre as well. Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoy “Dr. Filth.”

-Paul
Laugh at Yourself First
http://pauljuser.blogspot.com

Laugh at Yourself First: "Khan el-Khalili"

I got back on the social-network nod this week. Crisis averted. I’m guilty of spamming. I apologize, I thought I was networking. A careful reading of the Terms of Conduct specifically forbids networking with any person you know outside a face-to-face setting. It’s near the bottom. After all my ranting, it turns out I’m the bad guy. According to a popular free encyclopedia, under threat of fines, prison time, and Google Ads, every site on the net by law must forbid every action they actively encourage. The law was put in place to discourage Illegal Downloaders. I can take a picture worth a thousand words or more, but it takes real talent to write a thousand words that eloquently say nothing.

I did think to myself several times, “This is exactly like spamming!” I like to think of myself as a new breed of spammer. I’m not hacking your passwords to steal credit cards. I’m not even asking you to buy it. I am endlessly making the same request, but only to show you something I put endless amounts of my own sweat into. Of course, I won’t turn you away if you wish to purchase my novel, “Dollars Per Hour,” beautifully bound and shipped to your door through Lulu.com. You can even download “Dollars” first to make sure you like it. That has to be a better class of person than the refugee billionaires from Kenya or those Vampire Mafias trying to recruit me. I manage to do it without as many misspellings or those long strings of ‘x’s and ‘o’s.

I promised more techno-mayhem this week. In the spirit of Terminator, the Matrix, and that movie with Fred Savage playing Tetris, AIN SOPH is a story of video games gone mad. I’ve been trying to write the story for about three years as a novel, but couldn’t get the story to move. As a short story, it wouldn’t stop. A game monster comes becomes conscious and steals all the money in the real world. The monster’s designer must enter the game to destroy it. There is action, adventure, and I promise it will be better than the time it happened on “The X-Files.” I hope you’ll wait a few weeks for AIN SOPH. In the mean time, I’ve put up a short called “Khan-el Khalili,” written during my recent visit to Egypt. Thank you for reading.

–Paul
"Laugh at Yourself First" http://pauljuser.blogspot.com