Laugh at Yourself First: Here in This Sorrow, Chapter 4

Read Here in This Sorrow, and more short fiction, scripts, and very little poetry at Laugh at Yourself First.
pauljuser.blogspot.com

The world didn't end. Anytime I'm convinced an event will not occur, there is a sure-fire chance it will, so I was significantly worried. Ten years ago, I counted coins for a vending company and worked with a member of the cult, who lamented he'd never see the Alaska quarter. That's when I knew the jig was up on this Apocalypse. You have to admire the ingenuity, renting bill-boards and RV's to spread the message. I was surprised you even heard of it. Unfortunately, Campy didn't learn the mistakes of "Bob," and reading the date upside down on the Napkin. The actual end of the world took place November 5th, 520AD, but possibly BC.

If you're here with me in Binghamton, you've known for some time that time is already over. Our windows are boarded, our sidewalks are broken, and our floors are collapsing underneath us. Don't worry, rest of the world, you learn to live with it. You have to make the best of your situation. I received my script last night for The Demon Messenger, by D A Bush. We are shooting next month, with expectations to have the movie ready by Halloween. The movie also features Marquis of the horror band Others and HORROR-PUNKS.com. H-P published "Tales of Madness & the Macabre," featuring my short story, "K'Tloo." You may think I've gone book-crazy, and maybe you're right. I'm putting the finishing touches on bringing Laugh at Yourself First to paper, which will be followed by the second half of The Salvation Shark. Thanks for reading.

-Paul
printisbetter.blogspot.com

Laugh at Yourself First: The Salvation Shark, Chapter 43

Read "The Salvation Shark" and more short fiction, scripts, and very little poetry at Laugh at Yourself First.
pauljuser.blogspot.com

It's a sad day, ladies and gentlemen, but one I always knew would arrive. After 2 years of updates, this may be the last email sent from the Laugh at Yourself First FaceBook group. Granted, it's probably the result of people like me, who clutter you inbox each week (or two) with inane diatribes about my whacko political views or stories from the strange place I live. The old groups are going the way of the dinosaur, and if I choose to continue, I will need to start with new members that I can't email when you rejoin.

That is all the better for you, because if you read this from your email, you miss all the images and easter eggs I include on the blog for your additional edutainment. Apparently one time the Wikipedia page for Party Mayor Matt Ryan of Binghamton stated his private dream was to get drunk and punch a Brontosaurus in the face. Everyone knows there is no such thing as Brontosaurus!

If you're here with me in Binghamton, you can find my books and posters at RiverRead Books, and other stores and cafes around town. If you can't travel here by car, I'd be happy to send some to you. Don't want to give your address to some crazy kid in Upstate, NY? Send me the address of your local bookstore and I will mail to them instead. My copy of the Salvation Shark arrived this week, and I couldn't be happier, and I am looking for stores to carry it. As always, Laugh at Yourself First is updated weekly. Becki and Lazarus arrive in New York City this week in The Salvation Shark. Thanks for reading.

-Paul
printisbetter.blogspot.com


By the way, I thought I was making up the word 'edu-tainment' when I wrote it. Let the record show I am not responsible.

Laugh at Yourself First: Sweet Chastity in Wonderland

Read "Sweet Chastity in Wonderland," and more short fiction, scripts, and very little poetry at Laugh at Yourself First.
pauljuser.blogspot.com

What I'm about to say goes against every fiber of my being: we need more censorship. Through all my years growing up, the FCC and the PMRC battled to keep down everything cool. All my Slayer albums were infected with ugly PARENTAL ADVISORY stickers. Luckily, I looked 20 from the time I was 15, so I never needed anyone to buy those records for me. When I was 16, I bought my first GWAR CD. I've only gone to see GWAR six times, but always made sure to be as blood-soaked as possible by the end. I greatly regret I didn't become a fan of GG Allin until two years after his death. I'll leave you to look up for yourself what happened at his shows, but I cannot be called a prude.

If you're here with me in Binghamton, you might have been at the gym with me a few weeks ago when an episode of 'Teen Mom' was on the TV by the bike. I had either Bad Religion or William S Burroughs reading Junky on my headphones, so I didn't hear, but I noticed none of the stars wore red letters pinned to their clothing. At the checkout counter in the grocery store the next day, I recognized every girl on the cover of a magazine. When I started the Salvation Shark, Brittany Spears was popular. You may not remember her, I haven't heard a word about her in a year or more, but I get most of my news from forteantimes.com. Brit is the girl in the pictures of Becki, I gave my character a better background than some Alabama trailer park.

In those days, Spears was considered an amoral corrupter, but now her antics are no more offensive than when Axl Rose swears. Shame on you, television, your integrity is gone. Anyone can find their place at the top by displaying themselves at their worst. I believe entertainment should be free to anyone capable of understanding the difference between fantasy and reality, regardless of their age. If no one gets hurt, do as Thou wilt. This type of censorship can only come from inside each individual person saying, "We are better than this crap." The Salvation Shark is out now in hardcover. Thanks for reading.

-Paul
printisbetter.blogspot.com