Read "Here in this Sorrow," and more short fiction, scripts, and very little poetry at Laugh at Yourself First.
pauljuser.blogspot.com
If anyone asks about my lip, tell them I was in a fight. It's better than the true story. I know what most people assume when they see the bleeding, open wound. It had to be the week the Day Job sent me to perform for preschoolers, who have no qualms about asking what happened. If I tried to perpetuate a rumor, I would have found myself delivering pizzas again. I had to tell the truth. Should you decide to visit Mark Twain Country for any reason, be sure to eat at one of the many Pudgie's Pizza in Elmira. If you're here with me in Binghamton, don't. Burning my lip on molten pizza sauce isn't very badass. Fight the truth. Tell everyone I was in a fight.
Junk food is dangerous. Science recently confirmed beyond the shadow of a doubt that feeding McDonald's to your three-year-old is guaranteed to make him a dummy. If you need an example, look no further than me. I eat junkfood all the time, and I'm barely a half-wit. Life on the road forces a person to eat a lot of egg-and-cheese sandwiches and hashbrowns. I could argue for hours over which gas station has the best microwaved bagels. I drink a lot of coffee to keep my metabolism high enough to process the garbage I devour. I don't know how the young mother I saw last week will compensate for the bottle of brand-or-off-brand-named-brightly-colored-sugar-water-flavored-drink-mix she gave her toddler. 'Round these parts, it ain't uncommon for the young'ns to have already graduated to Mountain Dew. Come back next week for new chapters of the Salvation Shark. Thanks for reading.
-Paul
printisbetter.blogspot.com
pauljuser.blogspot.com
If anyone asks about my lip, tell them I was in a fight. It's better than the true story. I know what most people assume when they see the bleeding, open wound. It had to be the week the Day Job sent me to perform for preschoolers, who have no qualms about asking what happened. If I tried to perpetuate a rumor, I would have found myself delivering pizzas again. I had to tell the truth. Should you decide to visit Mark Twain Country for any reason, be sure to eat at one of the many Pudgie's Pizza in Elmira. If you're here with me in Binghamton, don't. Burning my lip on molten pizza sauce isn't very badass. Fight the truth. Tell everyone I was in a fight.
Junk food is dangerous. Science recently confirmed beyond the shadow of a doubt that feeding McDonald's to your three-year-old is guaranteed to make him a dummy. If you need an example, look no further than me. I eat junkfood all the time, and I'm barely a half-wit. Life on the road forces a person to eat a lot of egg-and-cheese sandwiches and hashbrowns. I could argue for hours over which gas station has the best microwaved bagels. I drink a lot of coffee to keep my metabolism high enough to process the garbage I devour. I don't know how the young mother I saw last week will compensate for the bottle of brand-or-off-brand-named-brightly-colored-sugar-water-flavored-drink-mix she gave her toddler. 'Round these parts, it ain't uncommon for the young'ns to have already graduated to Mountain Dew. Come back next week for new chapters of the Salvation Shark. Thanks for reading.
-Paul
printisbetter.blogspot.com
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