Laugh at Yourself First: The Great World Leader

Visit Laugh at Yourself First for "The Great World Leader" and more short fiction, scripts, and very little poetry from Paul Juser.
pauljuser.blogspot.com

Due to the malignancy of my machine, Print is Better has no cover this week. Those of you reading the text-only version miss the full PiB experience. On the blog you get exciting images and fun links offering learning opportunities to accompany the text. You can also have it delivered to you by writing to TbStarlight@gmail.com. My PC won't turn on, leaving me in lap-top-land, so I can't finish the Halloween photo I found this week. Thankfully, the cover for the Great World Leader was already complete. This week, we finish Act II, and I'm making you sit through a week of my wierd experimental poetry before I start Act III.

If you're here with me in Binghamton, we at least have perfect weather for Halloween. With our crumbling edifices and broken sidewalks, you can sometimes only tell people live here from the trails of broken glass. It's been some years since I spent these days with windows down and the Misfits at full blast for all to enjoy, but the smell of leaves still hits me in the back of the nose every time I step outside. This week I visited Daddybones and Jinxx on the Original Geeks Podcast to read them my favorite selections from "Nuge For Prez." Thanks to everyone who came out last night to hear me read "Lair of the Snow Sasquatch" at the Art Mission. Still no news on Keisha Roman. Thanks for reading.

-Paul
printisbetter.blogspot.com

Laugh at Yourself First: The Great World Leader

Visit Laugh at Yourself First for "The Great World Leader," and more short fiction, scripts, and very little poetry from Paul Juser.
pauljuser.blogspot.com

There's a special Halloween cover for Print is Better this week. The picture celebrates my swim with the real Jason Voorhees this summer at Camp Blood. I ordered my Platinum tickets this week that will hopefully also see me hanging with Kane Hodder and Cannibal Corpse. I my have mentioned my penchant for nerding when it comes to Friday the 13th. This week's Laugh at Yourself continues Act II of The Great World Leader.

If you're here with me in Binghamton, you can come hear my short story, "Lair of the Snow Sasquatch" read live at the Art Mission theater on Halloween. Myself and other members of the Playwright Unit will be telling horror stories before "White Zombie," starring Bela Lugosi (and not directed by Rob Zombie), and "The Terror," starring Boris Karloff and a very young Jack Nickolson, much the Kevin Bacon of his time. Seating and stories start at 7:30, and the movies begin at 8 on Halloween night. Visit artmission.org for more information. It's been nearly a month with no news on Keisha Roman that Google can find. Thanks for reading.

-Paul
printisbetter.blogspot.com

Laugh at Yourself First: The Great World Leader

Visit Laugh at Yourself First for "The Great World Leader," and more short fiction, scripts, and very little poetry from Paul Juser
pauljuser.blogspot.com

This week starts Act II of The Great World Leader. When I left off, the Prime Minister had been murdered by an assassin allegedly mutated by the Prime Minister's most favored weapon of war. Prior to his death, the Prime Minister revealed himself to his chief advisor, Aiden Quartermass that he was not to be an enfeebled old man, and that the Prime Minister's personal assistant, Fischer Port, was also an assassin sent to kill Aiden. Meanwhile, the Minister of War has recieved a written order to use the powerful weapon one last time. The alleged creature implores Aiden to listen to its story of woe, lest he too meet his death on the creature's knife.

This week's life lesson is that when someone underestimates your will to fight, you put on your claws and gore the shit out of them. Call it the 'Moral of Freddy Kruger,' who claims to be innocent of his crimes when he's burned alive in the new trailer for the remake. It can't be worse than ever single sequel. This from the same guys who brought Jason back to life and gave him a personality. Maybe they'll have the guts to do what Rob Zombie did with Michael Myers and take off the mask. If you're here with me in Binghamton, you can hear more of my thoughts on writing this Tuesday at the Art Mission theatre with the Playwright Unit. This writing workshop starts at 7:30 with exercises followed by critique of submitted material. For more information, write to TbStarlight@gmail.com. Nothing new about Keisha Roman. I want to make sure some media remembers her name this week. Thanks for reading.

-Paul
printisbetter.blogspot.com

Laugh at Yourself First: ISIS

Visit Laugh at Yourself First for "ISIS" and more short fiction, scripts, and very little poetry from Paul Juser
pauljuser.blogspot.com

I decided last minute to break up "The Great World Leader." I'm going a little crazy with the Day Job and was unable to finish the edits I wanted. Next week starts Act II. "ISIS" is a trilogy of poems I wrote some years ago. The photo is mine, from a temple near Luxor, 5,000 year old proof that print is better. These poems are not about Egyptian goddesses, sludge metal bands, or any previous cats I may have owned, but tell three perspectives on those people we know that are firecrackers waiting to go off. The lady in question eventually got a handle on her life. Not all are that lucky.

If you're here with me in Binghamton, I hope you're distressed over the lack of information on a string of recent murders. My local rag ran an excellent review of one victim's Facebook page, but I've yet to hear of anything on the Internet activity of Keisha Roman. Meanwhile, there is less room for police positions in upcoming budgets. Grace Charles did an excellent portrayal of Keisha that I'd like to see wheat-pasted on every light post in town. If any of my Binghamton readers can put me in touch with her brother, Freddie, I'd appreciate your help. Thanks for reading.

-Paul
printisbetter.blogspot.com

Laugh at Yourself First: The Great World Leader

Visit Laugh at Yourself First for "The Great World Leader, Scene 3," and more short fiction, scripts, and very little poetry from Paul Juser.
pauljuser.blogspot.com

I hope you're enjoying "The Great World Leader." Here ends Act 1. I'm still debating if I start Act 2 right away, or if I should hold you in suspense for a week. This long running story has allowed me to focus on several new projects, as well as mix with the Day Job, who demands most of my day this time of year. I'm not sure what happened to September. I looked under the couch, but it wasn't there.

If you're here with me in Binghamton, you're probably enjoying the hype around our hometown hero, and the 50th anniversary of his television show. If you've set foot in my city, you know "The Twilight Zone" was no work of fiction. Our strange cast of characters includes a cowboy in full costume, cross-dressing homeless, a paraplegic Viet Nam veteran whom everyone knows by name, and a whole slew of mutants twisted into unimaginable shapes by whatever chemicals IBM and her sister Industrials dumped in our ground water. Recent legislation deemed there are not enough chemicals, and outside agencies are being brought in to blast in more. How will we look in 50 more years? Thanks for reading.

Paul
printisbetter.blogspot.com

Laugh at Yourself First: The Great World Leader

Visit Laugh at Yourself First for "The Great World Leader, Scene 2," and more short fiction, scripts, and very little poetry from Paul Juser.
pauljuser.blogspot.com

If you're here with me in Binghamton, this week you may have read about Keisha Roman, or saw her on the TV. The only photo I saw was hideous. Keisha had a smile and a laugh that could light up a room. She was a doting mother who talked endlessly of her talented family. She once brought sketches from her brother that were better than I could ever hope to draw. She disappeared in April and was found this week dumped on the side of a country road. I was sad, the world has lost a shining light.

I knew Keisha some time between her time served for manslaughter and her domestic assault arrest. She'd been in a couple movies, so we were able to talk shop. Keisha has her own IMDB page, I don't even have that. She was also in a horror film starring this bald dude that used to stand in dumpsters and scream "METAL!!" for a local waste removal company. Several years later, both that dude and myself were interviewed in a documentary about Binghamton that I hope never comes to a theater near you.

I haven't seen Keisha in some time. It's been five years at least since I worked with her, and this occasion could not have been any more recent than two. I was walking down the street, probably en route to cafe or bus stop, and she drove past me in her car. She screeched to a halt and let traffic pile up behind her in the busy intersection as we filled each other in. She was smiling with as much spitfire as I remembered. I have no clue what hardships she may have encountered between now and then, and I was deeply saddened when I read the story. I could not let the media hold Keisha responsible for her own murder. This same line of thinking allowed Gary Ridgeway to murder 49 prostitutes over 20 years in Seattle. I hope those responsible receive the same compassion they showed Keisha. Thanks for reading.

-Paul
printisbetter.blogspot.com

Laugh at Yourself First: The Great World Leader

Visit Laugh at Yourself First for "The Great World Leader" and more short fiction, scripts, and very little poetry from Paul Juser
pauljuser.blogspot.com

The Day Job has been running me ragged this week. Mix in a word processor crash with some personal tragedies I'd rather not discuss, and I thought I'd miss Laugh at Yourself First for the first week since it started. However, at the special request of my good friends in Swath, I powered through to finish the first installment of "The Great World Leader."

If you're here with me in Binghamton, I'm not with you very much right now. Some days I'm only home long enough to go to bed and get up to go to work. I'm close to including my time spent dreaming about work in my expense reports. "The Great World Leader" is a 9-part story that you will be seeing much of until my schedule evens out to include some writing time. In the mean time, I hope you'll go see a new play from my mentor, Judith Present. "War: What's It For?" is playing this weekend and next weekend at the Capitol Theater in Hancock, NY. I don't have a day off to see it until the very last show, so don't give me any spoilers on the ending. Thanks for reading.

-Paul