Laugh at Yourself First: The Unbearable Experimentation of the Insidious Dr. Dendrobates, Act 3

Read "The Unbearable Experimentation of the Insidious Dr. Dendrobates" and more short fiction, scripts, and very little poetry at Laugh at Yourself First.
pauljuser.blogspot.com

Thank you to everyone who came out to "Man-In-Sea" last night. The show raised more than $700 that will go to the creation of a scholarship in my brother's name. Derek Thoby was the MC for the evening, and Bill Snyder, Sean Kimber, Danielle Bates, and Jason Walsh did an excellent reading of the story. I hope everyone enjoyed the event as much as I did. If you were unable to attend, you will soon be able to purchase it in stores around Binghamton, or I'll send you a signed copy for your $15 donation to the PayPal link in the Print is Better and Laugh at Yourself First sidebars. "Man-In-Sea" is also available online at lulu.com/tbstarlight. All proceeds go to Matt's scholarship fund.

If you're here with me in Binghamton, you're probably upset about the War Cost Counter that to be hung outside of City Hall. The monument will keep tabulation on how much the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan are costing the taxpayers of Broome County. Regular readers will know that despite giving Mayor Ryan my vote twice, I've never been a big fan. While he's always been a supporter of local arts, he's more likely to be seen dancing on the bar than fixing the potholes and broken sidewalks in our city. I applaud him for the War Cost Counter, which is funded entirely by private donations. Many Americans feel these two wars are unjust, and most of the rest consider the wars at least wildly out of control. Who do you think is paying for these wars? You have three guesses, and I'll tell you it isn't through private donations or George W. Bush (HINT: I already gave the answer earlier in the paragraph). More community leaders across the country should follow Matt Ryan's example. That's the only way we can truly support our troops and get them home to their families where they belong. Dr. Dendrobates continues through April 27th. Thanks for reading.

-Paul
printisbetter.blogspot.com

Laugh at Yourself First: She Gave Me 'For You, Blue.'

Read "She Gave Me 'For You, Blue," and more short fiction, scripts, and very little poetry at Laugh at Yourself First.
pauljuser.blogspot.com

I knocked off my first fingernail today, and 9-finger typing is no fun. If only a machine existed that could read my atrocious handwriting! You'll probably thank me for keeping this short. "She Gave Me 'For You Blue,'" is somewhat named after a Beatles song, but I'll never tell why. Check another life goal from the list, I received my copy of Oblique Quarterly magazine with my name on the front cover. I was asked to submit my "Isis" poems after I posted them last year on Laugh at Yourself First. Read "Oblique" at weepingfool.com.

Man-In Sea will be released this Friday with a live reading at the Art Mission Theater. If you're here with me in Binghamton, I hope you will join me at 7pm. Bill Snyder, Sean Kimber, Danielle Bates, and Jason Walsh will be reading the story, and comedian Derek Thoby will introduce the show. All proceeds go to create a scholarship in my brother's name. If you've been reading, you know he passed away recently after a 2-year battle with brain cancer. This week I did interviews for the Press & Sun Bulletin, WSKG Public Radio, and the Original Geeks Podcast that will be released prior to the show. I'm feeling faint from blood-loss. Thanks for reading.

-Paul
printisbetter.blogspot.com

Laugh at Yourself First: The Witch King's Sword, Episode 9

Read "The Witch King's Sword," and more short fiction, scripts, and very little poetry at Laugh at Yourself First.
pauljuser.blogspot.com

Someone peel my fingers off the keyboard, Man-In-Sea is done! You can get your copy online at lulu.com/tbstarlight, but you can find it cheaper if you come to Binghamton. My copies are on the way, so I'll let you know where you can find them after the book release April 16th. If you're here with me in Binghamton, I hope you'll join me for the reading. My apologies to anyone who tuned in to hear me this week on WSKG. I recorded the interview with Gregory Keeler to play April 15th at 9:30am. The mix-up was my fault, and you heard some excellent programming, so let's call it even. Greg and I talked about Man-In-Sea and my brother Matthew. The interview will also be available in podcast, if you don't find yourself listening to public radio in Binghamton Thursday morning.

Had you told me ten years ago there would be such a thing as too many full-blast scream-alongs with Rancid going down the highway at top speed, I would have called you a liar. Now that I spend my Day Job performing, I often want to change it up on the drive home and listen to someone else talk for a while. NPR gets a little preachy at times, especially during those afternoon hours when no one is listening, but doesn't compare to Trilobites teaching kids that Evolution is a myth. Anyone that's driven through Upstate knows there isn't much radio-friendly between Syracuse and Whitney Point if you don't like Country music. I loved PBS TV and it's nature documentaries when I was little, but I did not expect I'd be a regular listener of PBS radio. I'm finally done with the new Witch King, I hope it's worth the wait. Thanks for reading.

-Paul
printisbetter.blogspot.com

Laugh at Yourself First: The Unbearable Experimentation of the Insidious Dr. Dendrobates, Act 2

Read "The Unbearable Experimentation of the Insidious Dr. Dendrobates," and more short fiction, scripts, and very little poetry at Laugh at Yourself First.
pauljuser.blogspot.com

I'm the type of person who gets my news from 2-week-old episodes of The Daily Show, and forteantimes.com. The rest comes from walking past newspaper boxes, and whatever is on TV at Wegman's, so I knew it was truly momentous when I heard within minutes that Mr. Obama took time off the private jet to deliver on some of those promises he used to make us like him about a year and a half ago. George Walker (Texas Ranger) may have been despicable, but look how well his plans were coming together by this time in his Presidency. That's a conspiracy theory joke for anyone who got the forteantimes reference. To celebrate this fantastic step forward, Rush Limbaugh has agreed to leave the country. Maybe he'll convince other insufferable journalistic jesters like Glenn Beck and Nancy Grace to accompany him.

If you're here with me in Binghamton, it appears Spring has sprung. We still get a week in the freezer for every sunny day, but snow hasn't kept a toe-hold in two weeks. I've needed as much sunshine as I can get these days. Monday, 3/29 I'll be on WSKG at noon, talking with Gregory Keeler about Man-In-Sea, my new book which will be released April 16th with a reading at the ART Misson Theater. The book will also be available online at lulu.com/tbstarlight. All proceeds are going to create a scholarship in my brother's name, so there will not be a free version of this book. I'm finishing the new Witch King's Sword for next week, and "The Vampire of Doom City" is updated daily at regularcrazy.blogspot.com. Thanks for reading.

-Paul
printisbetter.blogspot.com

Laugh at Yourself First: The Unbearable Experimentation of the Insidious Dr. Dendrobates

Read "The Unbearable Experimentation of the Insidious Dr. Dendrobates," and more short fiction, scripts, and very little poetry at Laugh at Yourself First.
pauljuser.blogspot.com

Someone please fill me in on this Lindsay Lohan/talking baby thing. I normally try to steer clear of pop crap like this. Unfortunately, it's the kind of news that unwittingly informs you while passing from one hospital waiting room to the next. I wasted nearly minutes reading news articles on the subject, and watched the commercial somewhere between three and five times, but couldn't figure out what base there was for paying attention. Is Lohan related to the writer, or maybe spent time with the gaffer? My friend Lindsey is fairly certain the commercial is about her, and the two don't even spell their name alike. That's a major point of contention among Linds (ee)'s. I'm only concerned because of the dangerous precedent being set. If one nut-case realizes how easily the legal system is manipulated for attention, every nut-case will realize how easily the legal system is manipulated for attention.

Dr. Dendrobates Act II will run through 3/25, followed by the next Witch King's Sword. My Isis poems have been published in Oblique Quarterly in Great Britain. My name is even on the cover, so I can knock another life goal off the list. There is a print edition, and I'm eagerly awaiting the arrival of mine. "The Vampire of Doom City" continues at regularcrazy.blogspot.com. Do you know the story yet? Dr. Dendrobates Act III will start April 16th. If you're here with me in Binghamton, that's the same night as the release of my new book, Man-In-Sea, based on the life of Edwin A. Link Jr.

During the Depression, Ed Link built a carnival ride out of broken airplane fuselage and a set of bellows from his father's piano factory. That carnival ride has been credited with the defeat of the Luftwaffe, the creation of the flight simulator industry, and revolutionizing of the world of aeronautics. After WWII, Ed Link moved on to in undersea archaeology, exploring ancient ports, tracking Christopher Columbus, and competing with Jacques Cousteau to go deeper into the oceans than any man had gone before. Man-In-Sea is not a story about an inventor that built a flight simulator, it's about a hero that changed the world. All proceeds will be used to create a scholarship in my brother's name. Man-In-Sea will be available online, but you'll be able to find it cheaper in Binghamton. I appreciate all of your patience and sympathy through this difficult time. Thanks for reading.

-Paul
printisbetter.blogspot.com

Laugh at Yourself First: The Unbearable Experimentation of the Insidious Dr. Dendrobates

Read "The Unbearable Experimentation of the Insidious Dr. Dendrobates," and more short fiction, scripts, and very little poetry at Laugh at Yourself First.
pauljuser.blogspot.com

Thursday morning, my younger brother, Matthew, lost his battle with brain cancer. My brother was the king of laughing at himself first, and at the world around him, and I believe he would want us to be finding the bright side. Through this horrible two year ordeal, family and friends that have not seen each other in years have been reunited to let Matthew know how many lives he touched in the scant few years he had. If nothing else, that had to make him happy. Thank you all for the outpouring of concern and good will you've given me and my family in this difficult time. If you're here with me in Binghamton, the benefit I'd organized for him April 16th will go on as planned to set up a scholarship in Matthew's name.

Dr. Dendrobates Act II was thankfully complete, and I didn't need to delay. The scenes will be posted each day until March 25th, and Act III will follow in April. I hope you're enjoying. "The Vampire of Doom City," also continues daily at regularcrazy.blogspot.com. March 15th, the last main character will be revealed. Do you know the story yet? Let me know at TbStarlight@gmail.com. Thanks for reading.

Matthew Steven Juser 10/4/1981-3/11/2010
Rest in Peace

Laugh at Yourself First: The Protective Zone of Privacy

Read, "The Protective Zone of Privacy," and more short fiction, scripts, and very little poetry at Laugh at Yourself First.
pauljuser.blogspot.com

Last week I promised the new Witch King's Sword, but I've been preoccupied. By the time I sat down to edit, the week was almost over, and I barely had the story formatted. I hope you understand. Instead, I'm giving you a weird, experimental poem I wrote after first reading about the Cut-Up poems from Burroughs. I'm not really sure what the Old Priest was talking about, but I'd been looking for the same thing a long time. I still don't know what the hell I was talking about. Please don't judge me by my poetry, I haven't written any for years. I worked hard on this one though, and it has a special place in my heart.

If you're here with me in Binghamton, this weekend was Parade Day! Every year we celebrate St. Patty's day two weeks early with a marching soldiers, policemen, firemen, and seven-year-old Irish dance companies. Occasionally, the mayor will stumble in as well, usually around the time the Miss Parlor City float passes the beer tent. Rumor has it we hold the parade early because the bagpipe brigade has been consistently booked since time immemorial. Apparently no one thought to book a different bagpipe brigade. Next week I'll start Dr. Dendrobates Act II, and regularcrazy.blogspot.com continues to be updated daily. Thanks for reading.

-Paul
printisbetter.blogspot.com