Happy Dr. Filth December 17th!

As you may know, tomorrow on Laugh at Yourself First, I'm posting the very first Dr. Filth story I wrote, sometime around when I was twenty. While the story received some revisions, and came together quite nicely, I couldn't come up with a title. I left that to my Facebook friends, who were given the chance to name it without reading it. The submissions are in, and I've picked my favorite. Here is a list of the runners up, and some of my reasoning.

Most Notable:

James Lisk of Parsippany, NJ submitted "The Good, the Bad, and the Filthy." Not only a good fit for the story, but some would say he is Dr. Filth. I would be those people. However, the Dr. Filth in this story was inspired by someone else.

Jason Weston, of Binghamton, NY, is my boss, so by default, I have to put his "The Harrowing Adventures of Coach Calves and His Boonville Battles." He also sends me to Boonville, which I made Dr. Filth's home town.

Miss Maggie G of Olympia Washington had my favorite for a while, and maybe still with "Thrift Store Rejects." However, while that pretty much described my life at the time, it had little to do with the story. If there's a Second Place, this is it.

Steen Ahlmann Peterson of Copenhagen, Denmark submitted "The Heart Attack Machine" or "Some Local Loser," which are both lyrics from the Bob Dylan song where the Doc gets his name.

"Put a Bow on Her and Call it Good" was from Alexis Pleus Dugon of Windsor, NY. That could be appropriate to the story in quite a few ways.

"Dr. Filth and The Warm Bath: Dr. Filth Comes Clean" was from Joe Sellepack of Taylor, MI. DR. FILTH WILL NEVER COME CLEAN!!

Everyone wins copies of the new Laugh at Yourself Flyer if you tell me where to send them.

Thanks for reading.

-Paul

Laugh at Yourself First: Dr. Filth Redux

I had some complaints last week that Print is Better had none of the Easter Egg links I normally include. I apologize, I went to Boston for Bazaar Bizarre, and the connection at the hotel was not nearly as blazingly fast as advertised. I'm not the sewing type myself, but my ladyfriend makes some spectacular purses, and I was not about to pass up the chance to stick the new Laugh at Yourself First flyers in any nook I could find. If you're in Boston or Cambridge, give me a shout if you see one. Point them out to your friends if you can.

The craft show was packed to the gills, and a mosh pit broke out when Jonnie Spaceman did a Theremin cover of "Raining Blood." The merchandise ranged from clothing to cat toys to metal sculptures of robots. I had fun looking, but couldn't find much more for myself than a Sasquatch T-shirt. I regret not picking up the tie with the typewriter on it, as well as the Sci Fi and Horror comics in the back corner, even though each book looked like pencil sketches. I lied about the "Raining Blood," but Jonnie Spaceman was still cool.

As part of "Dr. Filth December," this week's story is "Dr. Filth," as it appeared in NUGE FOR PREZ. I believe revision is the most important part of writing, and I try never to release the same story twice. Next week I have for you the very first story I wrote about Dr. Filth, and after that, will be back January 1st with a recap of the first six episodes of "The Witch King's Sword," with the debut of Episode 7 on January 7th. If you're here with me in Binghamton, remember it's too cold to wear ripped jeans. Thanks for reading.

-Paul
printisbetter.blogspot.com

Click the image for Dr. Filth the T-shirt!

Read "Dr. Filth vs. the Dein" and more original fiction, scripts, and very little poetry at pauljuser.blogspot.com

Happy Dr. Filth December!

I think someone else already claimed this month for something, but I’ll give him his time at the end. Since I started "Laugh at Yourself First" one year ago, I’ve reached hundreds of new readers around the world. I'd have never met most of these people had I chosen to jump through the hoops of a traditional publishing industry that currently draws its last breath. I’ve only spent the last year doing what I would have done regardless: writing stories. You did all the work for me, and for that, I can’t be more appreciative.

To celebrate, I’m rededicating this month to one of my oldest characters, Dr. Filth, a superhero with the power to convince himself anything. Doc didn’t realize his great power until after the publication of Dollars Per Hour, but Laugh at Yourself First gave me encouragement to delve into the life of this character and take us places I didn’t expect him to go.

Like dinosaurs? We all do. At the age of four I told an interviewer my dream to a palaeontologist. He didn’t know the meaning of the word, and admitted me to kindergarten early when I proved to be right. In this week’s story, “Dr. Filth vs. the Dein,” our hero finds a bone that isn’t stone, like it should be.

I’ve given away Laugh at Yourself First for a year, and will continue to update every week with new fiction, scripts, and very little poetry. However, I won’t turn you away if you would like to throw me a bone. As always, you can purchase one of my novels printed through Lulu.com. A printed version of "The Great World Leader" is nearly complete. If you prefer to read online only, next week I’ll have the Dr. Filth T-shirt that is sure to impress your friends. I won’t be able to give that away. Times still suck, and you cant afford to send anything my way, you can still help me out just as much by telling a friend. If you’re here with me in Binghamton, I’m skipping town this week, checking out Bizarre Bazaar up in Boston. Not my idea, but a good opportunity to pass out some flyers none-the-less. I’m repeating last week’s endorsement for RiverRead Books on Court Street, because you can buy Dollars Per Hour and Nuge For Pez there. They make great gifts. Thanks for reading.

-Paul
printisbetter.blogspot.com

Laugh at Yourself First: The Great World Leader

Visit Laugh at Yourself First for the conclusion of "The Great World Leader," and more short fiction, scripts, and very little poetry from Paul Juser.
pauljuser.blogspot.com

If you're here with me in Binghamton, please walk past the front window of RiverRead Books at 5 Court Street. From there, you can see NUGE FOR PREZ and Other Fiction on display. I hope that will be enough to bring you inside. If not, there is a magnificent collection on the shelves of fiction, history, biography, graphic novels, childrens', and much more. They keep the Science books up front, so I rarely get very far in before I find what I'm looking for. They also have literary events, such as open mic nights and author events. On January 22nd I'll be there reading selections from NUGE FOR PREZ. You don't have to be from Binghamton to attend.

In the wider world, modern science had a birthday this week, when On the Origin of Species celebrated the 150th anniversery of its publication. Next month, Laugh at Yourself First has it's first birthday as well. In lieu of a party, I'm having Dr. Filth December, featuring a brand new story next week, followed by the first Dr. Filth story I ever wrote, followed the revised edition of Dr. Filth that appeared in NUGE FOR PREZ. After that, I'm taking a week off. Just in time for Christmas, I'll be unveiling the Dr. Filth T-Shirt. I'll be back in January with a new installment of The Witch King's Sword and more short fiction, scripts, and very little poetry. Thanks for reading.

-Paul
printisbetter.blogspot.com

Like this week's cover of Print is Better? Get your T-Shirt here: http://www.cafepress.com/Printisbetter1

Laugh at Yourself First: The Great World Leader

Visit Laugh at Yourself First for “The Great World Leader” and more short fiction, scripts, and very little poetry from Paul Juser
pauljuser.blogspot.com

This is a special message from Ted Nugent. Nuge finished Sarah Palin’s manifesto, “Going Rogue” this week. Usually, even Ferocious Theodocious can’t finish a volume in under a week, but it turns out this book is 300 black & white copies of the front cover. After page 50, you’ve got a fairly clear idea what’ll happen next. Nuge breezed through that sucker in an afternoon.

The Motor City Madman figgered Sarah would go away after she tried to show us how qualified she was to be the Most Powerful Man in the World by quitting her job as Second Most Important Woman in Alaska to write a book. That would be like if Nuge stopped writing unrelenting Rock tour de force to run for public office. Apparently, if you’re dad is a dude from Monty Python, you can get away with anything.

If you’re here with Nuge in Waco, Texas, you probably don’t have anything better to do than read more of Sweaty Teddy’s thoughts on May... Gov... Swimsuit Model Palin, “Gin-Soaked” John McCain, and “Chicago Ganster” Barack O’Bummer. Nuge lays all bare in “NUGE FOR PREZ and Other Fiction,” by Paul Juser. This excellent book follows Nuge's historic 2008 presidential campaign to build an America that makes sense, bring to justice pigs and criminals, and lead our troop to battle wielding only a loincloth and spear.“Nuge for Prez” may be the most patriotic book ever written. So good the real Nuge ripped off the cover. Thanks for reading.

(not actually)
Ted Nugent.
printisbetter.blogspot.com

Laugh at Yourself First: The Great World Leader, Act III

Visit Laugh at Yourself First for "The Great World Leader," and more short fiction, scripts, and very little poetry from Paul Juser.
pauljuser.blogspot.com

Let me start with a thank you for all the birthday well-wishes this week. While my European friends started the celebration the day before my clock said I had "Both feet in the 3rd decade," my oldest friend still made it among the first. I can't say I did the same for him this year, or many other years, so if I missed yours, or miss yours in the near future, give me a pass. If you order a printed copy of Nuge for Prez, it's like we still gave each other presents.

If you're here with me in Binghamton, we have a new mayor. It's the old mayor! A hand count of absolutely every absentee ballot, Party Mayor Matt Ryan slid back into the swank office atop City Hall. What Mayor Ryan must remember in term number two is less than 40% of the vote means more than 60% of us didn't want him. He didn't so much win as had the election won for him by an opponent resembling Cesar Romero's Joker. It has been more than a month since the news reported on the murder of Keisha Roman. This week I start the final Act of "The Great World Leader," ending November 27th. Thanks for reading.

-Paul
printisbetter.blogspot.com

Laugh at Yourself First: The Poetry of Real Life

Visit Laugh at Yourself First for "The Poetry of Real Life," and more short fiction, scripts, and very little poetry by Paul Juser.
pauljuser.blogspot.com

If you're here with me in Binghamton, I hope you made it through what will be known as "The Voting Night Massacres." Douglas Walter Drazen took his 2,072 angry supporters to the streets pillaging and burning any house with a "Re-Elect Matt Ryan" sign in the lawn. Dozens were killed in the fighting, but on the bright side, 13 police officers will no longer be cut from next year's budget. As the fires subsided Wednesday afternoon, Rich David, Ryan's only opponent to not have his name on the ballot in magic marker, marched up and down State Street demanding a duel. With only 56 votes separating the less than 40% of the vote either candidate earned, a hand count will be required to determine who runs my city next. Seatbelts on.

I voted for the Party Mayor to keep from being turned away at First Friday. Had I known what it would be like last night, I may reconsidered my vote. I'm hoping with a second term he'll build the other half of the Riverwalk, or Binghamton WiFi will work indoors, or someone will sweep up the broken glass within a day or two of the bottle being broken, at least in a 2 block radius of City Hall. Joe Merril attempted, but ran like a whipped cur when a schnokered Ryan broke his broom and called Merril names. Last election this earned Ryan a restraining order. This election, it was free press. In honor of Ryan's impending victory, Act III of "The Great World Leader" starts next week. This week you'll sit through my weird, experimental poetry. It's worth it for the fantastic cover by Kip Ayers. Still no word on Keisha Roman. Thanks for reading.

-Paul
printisbetter.blogspot.com