Read “The Unbearable Experimentation of the Insidious Dr. Dendrobates” and more short fiction, scripts, and very little poetry at Laugh at Yourself First.
pauljuser.blogspot.com

Print is Better doesn’t have any of the fun and informative easter eggs I normally include, because I’ve said goodbye to city life and moved back to the country. The Internet man has apparently seen too many Friday the 13th's, and I'm still waiting for a connection. Still waiting on the Internet fairy to find the new house. That's why I've been half-assing the last few Print is Betters and reusing old images. If you read this through the Facebook group, you don't get the links or images anyway. An 11pm knock doesn't mean people looking for the deaf-mute crack dealer that had my apartment before me, it's a tech from the electric company on good conscience checking on the problem we'd called in to make sure nothing was dangerous. I hope you have that culture shock some day He repeatedly told me, “You won’t be charged, the dispatcher just couldn’t sleep thinking something could happen!” Now the lights don’t turn off in my bathroom at random.

I do still have a city zip code, so if you’re here with me in Binghamton, the weather has broken! There hasn’t been snow in days, so get out of your house while it lasts! By the end of the week you can put on your headphones, take a walk at Otsiningo Park and listen to my debut reviewing horror flicks on the Original Geeks Podcast. I’m setting my sights on a high for the first installment, telling you what I thought of A Nightmare on Elm Street. This isn’t quite as good as my life dream of writing a Friday the 13th, but I will be covering the “Camp Blood, Friday the 30th” convention for the show this summer. If you’re not able to get to Dallas for a swim in the lake with the original Jason Voorhees, I’ll make sure to give you total coverage. “Dr. Dendrobates” wrapped up on Tuesday, I hope you enjoyed it. “The Vampire of Doom City” is coming to a close next month at regularcrazy.blogspot.com. The next story is called “The Ice Factory,” and starts 10/10/10. Thanks for reading.

-Paul
printisbetter.blogspot.com

Laugh at Yourself First: The Unbearable Experimentation of the Insidious Dr. Dendrobates

Read "The Unbearable Experimentation of the Insidious Dr. Dendrobates," and more short fiction, scripts, and very little poetry at Laugh at Yourself First.
pauljuser.blogspot.com

If you're here with me in Binghamton, you already know that Party-Mayor Matt Ryan let me down one more time. Even though I helped vote this guy into office twice, I don't think he's completed a single project I thought was worth my vote. His Riverwalk project remains in a state of incomplete, Bing Wi-Fi was a dismal failure, and now he's scrapped the War Cost Calculator only a few days after I praised Ryan for his bold move.

It seems Mayor Ryan couldn't take the criticism coming from everywhere else. Don't get me wrong, the only reason I voted for Ryan was because I couldn't bring myself to vote red, but I can't bring myself to be so short-sighted. I'm horrified at how much of my paycheck is going to Iraq and Afghanistan. There's an argument against the war even the Tea Party can get behind. Getting mad at the guy who brings it to your attention is just a case of shooting the messenger. How many American boys are you going to let die because you don't want to see how much it's costing you? "Dr. Dendrobates" continues through April 27th. This afternoon, April 25th I'm volunteering at a benefit for Abe Freeman, a boy from my town fighting an aggressive childhood cancer. For more details, visit the Print is Better blog. Thanks for reading.

-Paul
printisbetter.blogspot.com

Benefit for Abe Freeman

March 1, 2010

Dear Friend,

I’d like to introduce you to Abe Freeman. Abe is an 11-year-old boy who resides in Endwell. As you can see, Abe has a great smile and like a lot of boys his age he likes sports cars, military collectibles, and karate. Unlike most 11-year-olds, he has been diagnosed with rhabdomyosarcoma, a rare cancer. He continues to attend school part-time while undergoing radiation and chemotherapy treatments in Syracuse and Boston.

Abe’s family and friends have rallied to raise money to help defray costs that are not covered by insurance. On Sunday, April 25, 2010 a Spaghetti Dinner will be hosted to support this effort. The dinner will be at the Elk’s Club 519 North Nanticoke Drive in Endicott, New York from 1:00 to 5:00 pm.

On Abe’s behalf, I ask you to join us by donating supplies for the dinner, items for raffle baskets, gift cards, and/or monetary donations. You may reach me by calling 341-1417 or emailing friendsofabe@gmail.com. Thank you for your consideration.

Sincerely,

Family & Friends of Abe Benefit Committee

Laugh at Yourself First: The Unbearable Experimentation of the Insidious Dr. Dendrobates, Act 3

Read "The Unbearable Experimentation of the Insidious Dr. Dendrobates" and more short fiction, scripts, and very little poetry at Laugh at Yourself First.
pauljuser.blogspot.com

Thank you to everyone who came out to "Man-In-Sea" last night. The show raised more than $700 that will go to the creation of a scholarship in my brother's name. Derek Thoby was the MC for the evening, and Bill Snyder, Sean Kimber, Danielle Bates, and Jason Walsh did an excellent reading of the story. I hope everyone enjoyed the event as much as I did. If you were unable to attend, you will soon be able to purchase it in stores around Binghamton, or I'll send you a signed copy for your $15 donation to the PayPal link in the Print is Better and Laugh at Yourself First sidebars. "Man-In-Sea" is also available online at lulu.com/tbstarlight. All proceeds go to Matt's scholarship fund.

If you're here with me in Binghamton, you're probably upset about the War Cost Counter that to be hung outside of City Hall. The monument will keep tabulation on how much the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan are costing the taxpayers of Broome County. Regular readers will know that despite giving Mayor Ryan my vote twice, I've never been a big fan. While he's always been a supporter of local arts, he's more likely to be seen dancing on the bar than fixing the potholes and broken sidewalks in our city. I applaud him for the War Cost Counter, which is funded entirely by private donations. Many Americans feel these two wars are unjust, and most of the rest consider the wars at least wildly out of control. Who do you think is paying for these wars? You have three guesses, and I'll tell you it isn't through private donations or George W. Bush (HINT: I already gave the answer earlier in the paragraph). More community leaders across the country should follow Matt Ryan's example. That's the only way we can truly support our troops and get them home to their families where they belong. Dr. Dendrobates continues through April 27th. Thanks for reading.

-Paul
printisbetter.blogspot.com

Laugh at Yourself First: She Gave Me 'For You, Blue.'

Read "She Gave Me 'For You, Blue," and more short fiction, scripts, and very little poetry at Laugh at Yourself First.
pauljuser.blogspot.com

I knocked off my first fingernail today, and 9-finger typing is no fun. If only a machine existed that could read my atrocious handwriting! You'll probably thank me for keeping this short. "She Gave Me 'For You Blue,'" is somewhat named after a Beatles song, but I'll never tell why. Check another life goal from the list, I received my copy of Oblique Quarterly magazine with my name on the front cover. I was asked to submit my "Isis" poems after I posted them last year on Laugh at Yourself First. Read "Oblique" at weepingfool.com.

Man-In Sea will be released this Friday with a live reading at the Art Mission Theater. If you're here with me in Binghamton, I hope you will join me at 7pm. Bill Snyder, Sean Kimber, Danielle Bates, and Jason Walsh will be reading the story, and comedian Derek Thoby will introduce the show. All proceeds go to create a scholarship in my brother's name. If you've been reading, you know he passed away recently after a 2-year battle with brain cancer. This week I did interviews for the Press & Sun Bulletin, WSKG Public Radio, and the Original Geeks Podcast that will be released prior to the show. I'm feeling faint from blood-loss. Thanks for reading.

-Paul
printisbetter.blogspot.com

Laugh at Yourself First: The Witch King's Sword, Episode 9

Read "The Witch King's Sword," and more short fiction, scripts, and very little poetry at Laugh at Yourself First.
pauljuser.blogspot.com

Someone peel my fingers off the keyboard, Man-In-Sea is done! You can get your copy online at lulu.com/tbstarlight, but you can find it cheaper if you come to Binghamton. My copies are on the way, so I'll let you know where you can find them after the book release April 16th. If you're here with me in Binghamton, I hope you'll join me for the reading. My apologies to anyone who tuned in to hear me this week on WSKG. I recorded the interview with Gregory Keeler to play April 15th at 9:30am. The mix-up was my fault, and you heard some excellent programming, so let's call it even. Greg and I talked about Man-In-Sea and my brother Matthew. The interview will also be available in podcast, if you don't find yourself listening to public radio in Binghamton Thursday morning.

Had you told me ten years ago there would be such a thing as too many full-blast scream-alongs with Rancid going down the highway at top speed, I would have called you a liar. Now that I spend my Day Job performing, I often want to change it up on the drive home and listen to someone else talk for a while. NPR gets a little preachy at times, especially during those afternoon hours when no one is listening, but doesn't compare to Trilobites teaching kids that Evolution is a myth. Anyone that's driven through Upstate knows there isn't much radio-friendly between Syracuse and Whitney Point if you don't like Country music. I loved PBS TV and it's nature documentaries when I was little, but I did not expect I'd be a regular listener of PBS radio. I'm finally done with the new Witch King, I hope it's worth the wait. Thanks for reading.

-Paul
printisbetter.blogspot.com